speaking of birth...

..you have to consider death...if you didn't consider these two side by side, twins, except one's going this way and the other is going that away...


Community placement put me in my place (where i should have been)
the place was about being and letting things be, be there to listen and learn
be there to absorb and revolt, be there to hear the stories of life and life to come and give the best of yourself that you can, in order to influence the good health and wellbeing of all you come across.

If only i could apply it to my own life

The Rabbit has died and been buried and we have all cried out

My children are beautiful and caring and sensitive and brutal

There you go

The last blog was first o may and now tis 22nd
that's how time gets

I said then that i felt like a student midwife ..now i feel like a SMW
Ive met a few MSW's .. fine ladies
Then there are the queens: the RMW's ....
It has been wonderful to have experienced FHHR and iIm glad when everything is NAD on urinalysis...when i get leuckocytes +++ that freaks me and so does taking hb
Itchy palms and soles
genital warts creeping up the tubular- will it be passed on?
Can you poo?

Apparently some people can't

However


I can now take bloods from real live people YErgg bleagh blah blerr

but did it and will have to continue to do so

My mentor ms Ntash has been very devine and wise and I am thankful for her introduction for me into the real life world of midwiffing

FEELING LIKE A STUDENT MIDWIFE

It's a very emotional experience being a student MW, one has to assimilate everything that has ever been in Womanhood. Process, understand, relate to all that goes on around you in practice.
I've been on placement 3days in community and the slices of life are amazing, saddening, empowering, shocking but never boring! the only thing that is boring is the political landscape in which one has to function within and believe me it is saturated.
It has been challenging and rewarding simultaneously and I feel I have come home to where I need to be :)
I would recommend it wholeheartedly to anyone this way inclined

MOTHERS RULE!

No matter how much shize or pressure or maths or rabbits or she said this he said that or nonsense as such
permeates your existence
you know
you know

let it ride, be kind
to yourself, first
then all else will follow

FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH OPEN MINDS....

http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=1442372416

My friend who is a horror freak sent me this as I have been talking so much about biology recently
The film is about mutated male and female and what happens in the Horror world of Biology experimentation...

ummm.. wonder what Jenny would make of it all

Vene

practicing Student Midwives!

Needles and pins. Clare fixing a puncture

scary hairy work! except the arm wasn't hairy and it looked from the amount of puncture wounds there should be collapsed veins and a drug problem to contend with.
otherwise good session. Clare was good even though she's a student, you can tell she's done it before!

http://www.birthdiaries.com/diary/ext025/

The Pentacle

The Pentacle, the most famous symbol of Witchcraft is a bold and fascinating statement about our place in the Universe. When the pentacle is drawn or written, the image created is called a pentagram. The pentagram represents an ancient concept that can be found in philosophical thought in both East and West. Although over 8,000 years old, the image of the pentagram is applicable in our modern world. The pentagram tells us that we have the ability to bring Spirit to Earth; this applies to every area of practical day-to-day living, as well as spiritual thought. The ability of bringing Spirit to Earth is what makes us whole.
Traditionally, each of the five angles has been attributed to the five metaphysical elements of the ancients:

EARTH: (lower left hand corner) represents stability and physical endurance.

FIRE: (lower right hand corner) represents courage and daring.

WATER: (upper right hand corner) represents emotions and intuition.

AIR: (upper left hand corner) represents intelligence and the arts.

SPIRIT: (at the topmost point) represents the All and the Divine.

The Circle around the star represents the God-Goddess; it refracts and reflects all light, bringing to the wearer total intelligence, universal wisdom and protection.

It is the ruling of the higher mind over the lower elements of our being and signals the awakening of cosmic consciousness and the beginnings of our own human psyche, moving beyond the realms of physical form and the perceptions limited to the five senses. It allows the infinite possibilities that exist within the Universe and frees us to explore and to grow.
This becomes a graphic portrayal of Spirit ruling over the five elements. When the pentagram is placed within a circle, it's energy is focused and directed. The pentagram upright, to those of spiritual perception, represents the redemption of Spirit by ruling over matter.

WHAT IS THAT?

Buzy buzzy day..Biology exam A.m with a different lecturer who had, shall we say, a different style from what we've grown by these past few weeks. Anyway, that went alright eventually.

It feels good having my brain expanded by challenge and difference and long thoughts.

The afternoon of wanting to get hands on steths and sprghs (ha-ha!)
led to not hearing heartbeats
or feeling pulses
or using equipment the right way round
or the wrong way up
but
being happy to be supported and encouraged
laughing at myself
getting it wrong
but feeling alright
I'm a student midwife!

Leaving medical school to go and get a tattoo

That's another story, but I'm blissed right now

PBL tomorrow.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ankyloglossia

http://www.beastar.org.uk/archives/23#more-23

TONGUE TIE

NICE guidelines stating ''a suitably qualified health professional'' being able to perform the TT snip; is it correct that Midwifes used to routinely perform this in hospital? since the onslaught of bottle feeding whereby the Infant can be less active in the use of it's tongue- we don't check anymore.
This meant many sad and frustrating nights for me, I still look at my wee girl (30 months now) and wish my start with her hadn't been so distanced. I struggled feeding her and knew something was wrong, I had already fed, in varying conditions and circumstances,
my 4 other children.
I knew she wasn't getting my milk, it was there alright, I had to pump it out of me around the clock- she just couldn't access it.
The breastfeeding support Midwife told me there was nothing wrong with her feeding technique, or my positioning etc. but She didn't checked for TT.
I remembered a time when some friends had their first child; the difficulties Jeanie faced in feeding her daughter seemed to be the same as what was going on with me and Suki, my little hungry bird.

Jeanies daughter was TT.

I checked Suki's tongue and yes, it was a short little heart. I went to the GP and got an appointment with the Paediatrician who is in great demand as he only does 1/6wk visits.
My Midwife could have easily performed this job, the little snip that released us both together into nurturing harmony.
Instead I had to wait 5 weeks of pumping out, sat with gritted teeth only wanting to feed my baby. The only solace being my man, a wonder at each feed, taking up my girl in his arms, being 'mother'- feeding her my milk in replacement of me.
If breastfeeding is to be supported then we have to look at all and everything surrounding it. That's very big, so lets start with the tongue! It's the way we speak, what we say comes from who we are, the way we were nurtured.

Okay, more Biology.... This time the Cardio side of things. My eyes aren't quite bleeding yet, though my heart beats faster everytime I think of all these things....

Coronary Arteries

Because the heart is composed primarily of cardiac muscle tissue that continuously contracts and relaxes, it must have a constant supply of oxygen and nutrients. The coronary arteries are the network of blood vessels that carry oxygen- and nutrient-rich blood to the cardiac muscle tissue.

The blood leaving the left ventricle exits through the aorta, the body’s main artery. Two coronary arteries, referred to as the "left" and "right" coronary arteries, emerge from the beginning of the aorta, near the top of the heart.

The initial segment of the left coronary artery is called the left main coronary. This blood vessel is approximately the width of a soda straw and is less than an inch long. It branches into two slightly smaller arteries: the left anterior descending coronary artery and the left circumflex coronary artery. The left anterior descending coronary artery is embedded in the surface of the front side of the heart. The left circumflex coronary artery circles around the left side of the heart and is embedded in the surface of the back of the heart.

Just like branches on a tree, the coronary arteries branch into progressively smaller vessels. The larger vessels travel along the surface of the heart; however, the smaller branches penetrate the heart muscle. The smallest branches, called capillaries, are so narrow that the red blood cells must travel in single file. In the capillaries, the red blood cells provide oxygen and nutrients to the cardiac muscle tissue and bond with carbon dioxide and other metabolic waste products, taking them away from the heart for disposal through the lungs, kidneys and liver.

When cholesterol plaque accumulates to the point of blocking the flow of blood through a coronary artery, the cardiac muscle tissue fed by the coronary artery beyond the point of the blockage is deprived of oxygen and nutrients. This area of cardiac muscle tissue ceases to function properly. The condition when a coronary artery becomes blocked causing damage to the cardiac muscle tissue it serves is called a myocardial infarction or heart attack.

Superior Vena Cava

The superior vena cava is one of the two main veins bringing de-oxygenated blood from the body to the heart. Veins from the head and upper body feed into the superior vena cava, which empties into the right atrium of the heart.

Inferior Vena Cava

The inferior vena cava is one of the two main veins bringing de-oxygenated blood from the body to the heart. Veins from the legs and lower torso feed into the inferior vena cava, which empties into the right atrium of the heart.

Aorta

The aorta is the largest single blood vessel in the body. It is approximately the diameter of your thumb. This vessel carries oxygen-rich blood from the left ventricle to the various parts of the body.

Pulmonary Artery

The pulmonary artery is the vessel transporting de-oxygenated blood from the right ventricle to the lungs. A common misconception is that all arteries carry oxygen-rich blood. It is more appropriate to classify arteries as vessels carrying blood away from the heart.

Pulmonary Vein

The pulmonary vein is the vessel transporting oxygen-rich blood from the lungs to the left atrium. A common misconception is that all veins carry de-oxygenated blood. It is more appropriate to classify veins as vessels carrying blood to the heart.

Right Atrium

The right atrium receives de-oxygenated blood from the body through the superior vena cava (head and upper body) and inferior vena cava (legs and lower torso). The sinoatrial node sends an impulse that causes the cardiac muscle tissue of the atrium to contract in a coordinated, wave-like manner. The tricuspid valve, which separates the right atrium from the right ventricle, opens to allow the de-oxygenated blood collected in the right atrium to flow into the right ventricle.

Right Ventricle

The right ventricle receives de-oxygenated blood as the right atrium contracts. The pulmonary valve leading into the pulmonary artery is closed, allowing the ventricle to fill with blood. Once the ventricles are full, they contract. As the right ventricle contracts, the tricuspid valve closes and the pulmonary valve opens. The closure of the tricuspid valve prevents blood from backing into the right atrium and the opening of the pulmonary valve allows the blood to flow into the pulmonary artery toward the lungs.

Left Atrium

The left atrium receives oxygenated blood from the lungs through the pulmonary vein. As the contraction triggered by the sinoatrial node progresses through the atria, the blood passes through the mitral valve into the left ventricle.

Left Ventricle

The left ventricle receives oxygenated blood as the left atrium contracts. The blood passes through the mitral valve into the left ventricle. The aortic valve leading into the aorta is closed, allowing the ventricle to fill with blood. Once the ventricles are full, they contract. As the left ventricle contracts, the mitral valve closes and the aortic valve opens. The closure of the mitral valve prevents blood from backing into the left atrium and the opening of the aortic valve allows the blood to flow into the aorta and flow throughout the body.

Papillary Muscles

The papillary muscles attach to the lower portion of the interior wall of the ventricles. They connect to the chordae tendineae, which attach to the tricuspid valve in the right ventricle and the mitral valve in the left ventricle. The contraction of the papillary muscles opens these valves. When the papillary muscles relax, the valves close.

Chordae Tendineae

The chordae tendineae are tendons linking the papillary muscles to the tricuspid valve in the right ventricle and the mitral valve in the left ventricle. As the papillary muscles contract and relax, the chordae tendineae transmit the resulting increase and decrease in tension to the respective valves, causing them to open and close. The chordae tendineae are string-like in appearance and are sometimes referred to as "heart strings."

Tricuspid Valve

The tricuspid valve separates the right atrium from the right ventricle. It opens to allow the de-oxygenated blood collected in the right atrium to flow into the right ventricle. It closes as the right ventricle contracts, preventing blood from returning to the right atrium; thereby, forcing it to exit through the pulmonary valve into the pulmonary artery.

Mitral Value

The mitral valve separates the left atrium from the left ventricle. It opens to allow the oxygenated blood collected in the left atrium to flow into the left ventricle. It closes as the left ventricle contracts, preventing blood from returning to the left atrium; thereby, forcing it to exit through the aortic valve into the aorta.

Pulmonary Valve

The pulmonary valve separates the right ventricle from the pulmonary artery. As the ventricles contract, it opens to allow the de-oxygenated blood collected in the right ventricle to flow to the lungs. It closes as the ventricles relax, preventing blood from returning to the heart.

Aortic Valve

The aortic valve separates the left ventricle from the aorta. As the ventricles contract, it opens to allow the oxygenated blood collected in the left ventricle to flow throughout the body. It closes as the ventricles relax, preventing blood from returning to the heart.

the world makes circuses of reality

reality makes the world a circus

BIOLOGY MAKES YOUR MIND THINK

I was sat here, homestead today strugglin with my Biology and even though I had 6 books spread out in front of me (3 I got from the library yesterday) I KNEW i needed Totora (have you seen the film Totoro?)
Well I took myself off into town fearing that upon my return loads of kids would have stamped loads of feet all over the present 6 books opened up all over the floor..fear and dread preceded my leave of the homestead yet I didn't want to clear those books up from the floor, I wanted them to see, know, what I'm doing
I found myself in HMV buying bargain £3 dvds for my wee small girls, the original Planet of the apes (£3) for the boys and some highlighter pens (why?) for me (oh yeah and Totora + bonus book for 42 quid)
Totora gave me the insight to what those worksheets are about; I did more in the next 2 hours(10 points in question) than I had done 4 hours previously (3 points in question)
I can only think that Jenny dominatrix WANTS to say to us; cheaper, less in demand texts are the ones we can get answers from if we really TRY
fuddle SAY; Totora is the reference we use and all the answers we give you will be from that
It's something to inform the next 1st years about!!
have a good weekend xx

Pregnant man

This Man was a Woman who won Miss Hawaii beauty contest, he has balanced his Hormone intake so that he can maintain his essence of the Feminine, his womb- whilst on the outside appearing as a man- minimal hormone intake along with lobbing off the breasts = WHAT?
A Woman wanting to function (on the outside) as Man,yet intrinsically still a Woman? Presenting this to the Media as a fingers up freak show feed to the world? OR
A self-obsessed egomaniac wanting more attention, feeling as a female that wouldn't happen....?
And so on..OR
We are all puppets in the theater of Americana

DISCUSS

		Organelles are structures inside eukaryotic cells that carry out functions. The main organelles are nucleus, cell membrane, chloroplast, mitochondria, endoplasmic reticulum, cell wall and golgi apparatus. Most organelles are membrane bound, they have a unit membrane around them. Prokaryotic cells do not have membrane bound organelles. Some organelles are visible with a light microscope because they are big enough to be resolved.

blaaaaa

I can't believe the time passes so fast and doesn't feel like progress.
Easter hols have flown and I'm behind with work.
CELLS..BLAA
I am trying to remember what is in a cell and what the hell organelles are in the cell..it's gone.
Hopefully will wake up tomorrow and it will be magically in my brain. Computers give you brain drain
goodnight!

Course Structure

Today sat in room 3 feeling rubbish and snotty but still managed to take it all in!
Course structure is really intense, so many elements to figure out; placements, objectives within those placements; assignments, how to reference and the no-no's of plagiarism, PBL (problem based learning) keeping in touch with tutors, sharing knowledge and skills with fellow students. Placements in Theater (faint) surgery procedures, working within multi-disciplinary teams..and so on...oh yeah, and HOMEWORK! (for Wednesday) about breastfeeding.
It feels difficult to assimilate everything, but I guess once the actual practice begins we will be able to understand where everything fits.
Trying to cope with fitting all this together in a disciplined way along with family needs is going to be tougher, so we'll see I guess.
I'm scared of everything but excited too.
Tomorrow, biology. I think it's going to be a long day.

End of week one!

Being a silly girl

Friday today.
Yesterday I had to go to Derby for 9am, wouldn't have been a problem had I not allowed the stress from Wednesday (evening particularly) get to me and for my tired brain to give me the go ahead to consume a ridiculous amount of vino.
Getting up at 6.30am is not compatible with going to bed at 2am drunk. So with horror and shame I shifted my sorry sick butt down to the train station, puking intermittently and missed my first train. Woo! great start to the day.
Actually it did get tons better, I don't know how. Maybe it was the way that my personal tutor grabbed me on the way into lecture, put me in a room with occupational health who quizzed me about my health (oh god! the shame, do they know I got drunk?- not a good coping mechanism for a student midwife) and proceeded in jabbing me in the arm with Hep B vaccinationbefore I knew what was happening.
The day went wonderfully from there on in. I got my NHS ID (In which I look quite chuffed with myself) and had a laugh with the other students.

I really like my Tutor. She is very funny.

Today then is a reading day, obviously still get up early to sort kids but now Midday I am still sat in my PJ's sorting paperwork and trying to let this crazy week sink into my being.

Monday all the 'proper' study begins..can't wait!

day trois

You may sit in that class/lecture place and start drifting, thinking intensely about what those people before you are saying and REALLY REALLY wanting to take it in but the back of your mind there is always something else calling out... something else.

This is where I am today. Low and behold.
After soaking all the wonder and brilliance of Midwifery and the course to be , I trudge around looking for a BIG bag so I can lug all my paperwork, paperwork paperwok with me, at all times.

I get home to; a fraggle rock partner, two boys scrapping, wee girls laughing and eldest out. I bleed.

Tomorrow injections and ID's

A brave new world.

end of day 2

Be gosh!
I am so knackered, there has been so much information to absorb, paperwork paperwork paperwork! orientation around hospital, campus, modules lectures and meeting lots of new wonderful peeps...
We had a lecture yesterday about history of Midwifery which was fascinating and compelling, a lecture today about fire safety which was bizarre and fascinating (never thought it would be but there you go). More paperwork, tour round the library (a sci-fi wonder) and logged into the mother system to become a fully incorporated member of Uni technology. Phew!
Went on the bus back home with a fellow student, a wee might not much older than my eldest daughter and shared feelings on how spaced out we both were, glad to know in each others company that we are not alone in feeling like we have just entered the twilight zone.
Get home, him indoors feeling poorly (oh them boys to men) so I cooked tea and zazzed off for another couple of hours to file away them papers papers papers....

Now, a glass of vino and most probably snooze, hopefully tonight without nightmare images of needles and cuts, vomit and spit needling my subconscious...
till tomo xx

IN TRANSITION

My journey is in transition, I'm moving to the precipice, about to turn into a Student Midwife.

I have been considering this for the last 13years give or take months here or there wrapped in other preoccupations, and now, blimey! I'm looking over that big edge, about to jump...

Tomorrow, 10am , I have to turn up at the QMC hospital and find my way to the Midwifery Education Centre.

I am nervous, delighted, excited, strong, scared, emotional, and completely convinced I will turn up and they will say '' sorry we made a mistake..''!
I still can't believe I am here. Tomorrow the big day.For all of us here in my house, our home.
The kids just think it's funny that I have to have an upside down one strap watch.
They don't know HOW BIG this is, this jump.
I'm glad for that ..for now.